


Faith

by Mertiya



Category: Tangled: The Series (Cartoon)
Genre: Alchemy, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fallout from Emotional Abuse, Fix-It, Friendship, Gen, Mild Transphobia, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Redemption, References to Emotional Abuse, Self-Hatred, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 07:30:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14828043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mertiya/pseuds/Mertiya
Summary: Varian has a secret.  Arianna tries to help.  Rapunzel and Cass try to fix things with their friend.





	Faith

**Author's Note:**

> I am possibly a little unfair with Frederic's characterization--partly because I'm not in his point of view at all, partly because I'm still a little shirty about how the show treated him versus how it treated Varian. But just warning that he's a little bit on the extra-grouchy and unfair side in this fic.
> 
> Many thanks to (or curses on) FrostandSilence for dragging me into this hell.

As cells went, it wasn’t so bad, Varian had to admit, if grudgingly. If it wasn’t for the locked door and the fact that everything sharp had been stripped out, it could have just been a luxurious room in the castle. He sank down on the comfortable bed and rested his head in his hands. “It’s their fault,” he said to Rudiger, who made a soft little noise and curled up on his lap. The words were starting to sound a little hollow, even to him.

            _It has to be their fault_. It couldn’t be his. He couldn’t have done this. _Dad, just for once, I’m going to fix this. I’m going to make you proud_.

            A sob trickled out of his throat. How was he going to do anything from in here? “I’ll just have to get out,” he told Rudiger. “You’ll help, right?” The raccoon pressed its little face into his, tiny tongue reaching out to catch a single tear, and Varian sniffed, brushing away the rest of the liquid. “I’ll fix it, and my dad will be okay, and he’ll be proud of me.”

            Varian tried not to think about the fact he’d thought that before. This time would be different. This time his father wouldn’t yell or shrug. He’d hug Varian and tell him, “Well done, son.”

            He got to his feet, about to go to the window and look out through the bars, when he felt liquid trickling down the inside of his leg. “Oh no,” Varian said, arm clutching across his chest. “No, no. Not now. Come on. _Come on_.” Now what was he going to do?

~

            The view outside was bright and sunny. Rapunzel drew her knees up to her chest as she looked out from her window-seat vantage point. A knock on the door drew her attention. “Who is it?” she called.

            “It’s me, Blondie!” Eugene. Okay. She could talk to Eugene.

            “Come in!” she called.

            She heard the doorknob turn, and then the noise of the deadbolt shuddering in place. There was a pause, followed by a few moments of clicking, and then the door opened. “Your door was locked,” Eugene commented.

            “I didn’t think that would stop you.”

            “Okay, admittedly, that is a correct assumption, but don’t you think it’s a little unfriendly?”

            She shot him an exasperated look. “That’s the point of a locked door.”

            “Can I sit with you?” She waved her hand at the space beside her. “Thanks.”

            For a few moments, the two of them just sat in silence. It was nice, Rapunzel thought. It probably wasn’t going to last.

            “So…” Well, she’d been right. “I thought you were going to go out exploring. Wasn’t that the plan?”

            Rapunzel bit the inside of her lip. “It was, yes.”

            “So what changed?”

            “I did some thinking.”

            “Thinking about what?”

            Sighing, she tipped her head sideways to look at him. “Varian.”

            He didn’t look surprised. “I thought that might be it.”

            “You did?”

            “Blondie, I know you better than anyone. You don’t leave your friends while they’re hurting, no matter how much you want to.”

            “Don’t you think I’m being naïve?”

            “Well, yeah, you’re always naïve.” Eugene shrugged. “But your faith in me worked out pretty well, eventually, all things considered. It seemed strange that you were just going to leave, but I didn’t want to say anything.”

            She pressed her face into her knees. “I said what my dad did was okay. Because it’s what a father would do. Only—only—I started thinking. Varian’s just acting how a son would act, right? How can I abandon him like this? Especially when it’s my _fault_.”

            “It’s not your fault. You were doing your best during a state of emergency.”

            “I don’t mean that. That’s the only thing I think I did _right_. Eugene—”

            “Yeah?”

            “If we’d done something about the rocks earlier, or if we’d done something after the emergency was over—”

            “Blondie, you did ask your father to check on him, it's not entirely your fault—”

            “I should have gone myself. I _owed_ it to him to go myself. We’re _friends_ , Eugene. Look, I know you think I blame myself for too many things, and I probably do, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t _ever_ take responsibility.”

            He had opened his mouth, maybe to try and rebut her, but he looked thoughtful and then closed it again. “Yeah, okay, that’s a good point.”

            “And—and maybe—I love my dad, but—I care about Varian, too. And all those lessons about needing to do what’s right for the kingdom and making tough choices? My dad made the _wrong one_. And I don’t know if I trust him to do what’s right even now.”

            Another knock on the door. “Your Highness?” It was Pete. “Um, Varian is asking for bandages.”

            “Bandages!” She got to her feet hurriedly. “Is he hurt?”

            “We don’t know. He won’t tell us why he wants them, and Stan thought maybe—well, you wanted us to ask you in particular if we weren’t sure what to do about him.”

            “I’ll be there right away.”

~

_“Varian—”_

_“Quiet!”_

_“You can’t do this,” the Queen continued, unperturbed, as if he hadn’t spoken._

_He whirled on her. “Oh, yes, I can!” He was trembling, which he shouldn’t be. Just because this was the queen of Corona—just because this was Rapunzel’s mother—“I can do this. I’m going to fix this.”_

_“Please listen.” He shook his head. No point in talking anymore. He had to be ready. He was ready._

_“You’re in trouble. I can help.”_

_“Yeah, you can. You can bring Rapunzel here.”_

_Silence. Thank goodness. He focused on soldering. He was good at soldering. He knew how to solder. It just took quick hands and precision. Nothing complicated there. Not that he couldn’t do complicated things, too. He could do everything he needed to._

**~**

Varian’s head was down, staring at the floor, his chin tight, shoulders hunched, and fists clenched. “I’m just asking for some bandages, Princess, is that really such a big deal?”

            “Are you hurt?” Rapunzel asked.

            “I—” he went silent, and his chin was trembling slightly.

            “Princess, he won’t tell us why he wants them, and we can’t just give him something without a justification.” Stan shuffled awkwardly.

            “Just forget it,” Varian blurted. At his feet, Rudiger twisted in anxious little circles.

            “Varian.” Grudgingly, he looked up. Rapunzel frowned. “Do you really need bandages?”

            A peculiar expression crossed his face. “Yeah.”

            “And you’re not going to use them to try to escape?”

            “Would you believe me if I said I wasn’t?”

            Stan shook his head.

            “Yes,” Rapunzel said, with a deep breath. “I would.”

            “Really. Let’s put that to the test, then.” His hands were still clenched at his sides, but he gave a mirthless smile as he looked up. “I promise I won’t use them to try to escape.”

            “Get him the bandages,” Rapunzel instructed, lifting her chin. The smile dropped off of Varian’s face.

            “D-Don’t think this makes me like you any more,” Varian stammered, but she thought he looked relieved.

~

            “We found these in his cell.” Rapunzel’s face went white to see the blood-soaked bandages. “He was trying to hide them.”

            “Is he hurt?”

            “He won’t let anyone in to see him.” Rapunzel’s hand shot to her mouth.

            “I’ll go see him immediately.”

            “Raps, don’t you think he’d respond better to someone else?” Cass asked, surprisingly gently. Rapunzel felt her shoulders hunching inwards.

            “He’s my friend, Cass, and I’ve failed him enough times. If he’s hurt, and he won’t tell anyone what’s wrong—I have to try. I can’t let him down again. I _won’t_ let him down again.”

            Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Eugene giving Cass the head shake of _Don’t Argue With Her When She’s Like This_ and decided she would avoid making a fuss about her fiancé thinking she was predictable some other time. For now, she had a friend to help.

            Varian was lying on his side on the bed, with his knees curled up to his chest, facing the wall, when she let herself into his room. Stan had objected once again, but both Rapunzel and Cass had brushed his objections aside. “What do you think he’s going to do to her? I’ll be there,” Cass said, and that was that.

            “Varian,” Rapunzel said gently, and his shoulders hunched sharply.

            “What,” he said flatly.

            “What’s the matter? You’re _bleeding_.” Rudiger’s nose popped up from inside Varian’s arms.

            “I’m fine,” Varian said stonily.

            “That was a lot of blood! Varian, please.”

            “Go away, Princess. I’m none of your concern.” He gave a soft, stifled sob, and Rapunzel winced. “I’m not dying. I promise.”

            “Not good enough, Varian! How can I believe you when you’re bleeding—you must have lost enough blood to fill a good cup, the guards said. Where are you hurt?”

            “ _I’m not hurt_!” Varian shouted, and Rapunzel jumped as he slammed his fist into the wall. “I’m not hurt, there’s nothing wrong, and I don’t want your help!”

            Rapunzel took a deep breath. “If you won’t tell us what’s wrong, I’m going to have to call the castle medic.”

            That got Varian to sit up, face desperate. “No—Princess. Please. No. Don’t.”

            At Rapunzel’s side, Cass gasped. “Raps, look.”

            Rapunzel’s hand flew to her mouth. There was blood staining the front of Varian’s trousers, a widening red stain. His face went pale as he looked down, and he drew his knees up so fast he almost caught himself in the chin.

            “Oh no,” Rapunzel said. “Varian, what in Corona—”

            Beside her, Cass put her hand on Rapunzel’s arm. “He’s not injured. Varian’s a _girl_.”

            Varian’s entire face crumpled. His muscles went loose, and he relaxed against the wall. “Sure,” he muttered. “Why not take away the last thing I had left.”

            “It’s—your period?” Rapunzel asked timidly. “We can get you more supplies.” She frowned. “But I thought you, um…”

            “Whatever.” Varian’s voice had gone blank and strange. “I don’t need anything. I’ll figure it out.”

            But he _wasn’t_ a girl, Rapunzel thought in confusion. “Wait,” she said slowly. “That doesn’t make sense. Your voice—and didn’t you say something about being Quirin’s son? Were you—pretending for some reason?”

            That got him to sit up. “I _am_ his son!” Varian snapped. “I’m his son, and I’m not a girl, and I—I just—I just…” He covered his face with his hands. “You’ve taken enough,” he pleaded. “Please, _please_ don’t take this away from me as well.” The final words were gritted out, a plea that he clearly didn’t want to be making. “Please, just. Leave me this one thing.”

            “Varian!” Rapunzel cut in. “Varian, if you say you’re not a girl, I believe you, okay? We’re not going to take anything away. But if you’re bleeding because of your period, then we can get you, um, you know! Stuff for that.”

            “I told you I wasn’t dying,” he gritted out. “But I’m—I’m not—I’m not a girl, I’m not, I’m his son, and I’ll—I’ll get him back, and I’ll fix it, and I’ll, I’ll—” He sucked in a long breath and let it out in a wail. Helplessly, Rapunzel took a step forward. “Just this _one time_ , I’ll do something _right_.”

            She couldn’t help herself. She threw off Cass’s hand on her shoulder and went forward to put her arms around the crying boy. “Varian, you’ve done so much right. You’re brilliant—”

            He shook her off. “Leave me alone. This time it wasn’t my fault. This time—” He swallowed and looked up at her. “This time it was _yours_. And my dad’ll see that, and he’ll—he’ll—he won’t blame me. Not this time.”

            “Oh, Varian.” Rapunzel was tearing up too.

            “I was trying to help,” Varian gritted out at the floor. “I was just trying to help get rid of the rocks. He didn’t want me to. No one wanted me to, and I don’t—I don’t know why. I don’t know why nothing I do is ever g-good enough—” He halted, looking horrified, putting a hand over his mouth. “Rapunzel, leave me alone. You’ve got me caged in here for now, but I swear—I swear I’ll escape, and you’ll regret everything you did to me.”

            Cass stepped between them. “Raps, I think we’d better leave h—him alone for now.”

            She was trembling, tears threatening to fall at the raw pain in her friend’s voice, but she managed a nod. “We’ll get you some supplies, Varian.”

            Hand on her shoulder. Cass spoke up unexpectedly as the two of them headed for the door. “We’ll make this right, Varian.”

            A bitter laugh was their only response.

~

            Rapunzel was picking at her breakfast. Arianna watched her daughter and her husband. Things had only become more strained since the confrontation between Varian and her husband and daughter, and Arianna was deeply concerned. Frederic hadn’t spoken much about his decision to deceive his wife and daughter about the state of Old Corona, and Arianna herself was wrestling with feelings of betrayal and anger. She could only imagine how a child who had lost his only parent was feeling.

            “Rapunzel, are you feeling all right?”

            “Have we done anything to try to help Quirin?” Rapunzel asked abruptly, and her father looked up.

            “Of course,” he said.

            “It’s not ‘of course,’ Dad. That’s what you said about the rocks, too.”

            Frederic’s face changed, going from worried to defensive in an instant. Then he frowned, clearly trying to suppress the reaction. Arianna considered saying something, then decided against it. This was between her husband and her daughter.

            “Yes,” he said, quietly. “Thus far I’ve been sending messengers to other kingdoms to see if there are any talented alchemists we might be able to consult.”

            “Good.” Rapunzel stirred her oatmeal with a thoughtful expression on her face.

            “Rapunzel, I thought—” Frederic started, paused, then seemed to decide to continue. “I thought you’d forgiven me.”

            Her shoulders hunched in a little. “I thought I had, too. It’s just—” She swallowed. “If you’d listened earlier, Dad—maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”

            Frederic’s face stilled. “The boy made his own decisions.”

            “He was alone. He didn’t have _anyone_ , and I sent him away, and then—you said you’d check on him, and you—” Rapunzel gave a pained smile. “I love you, Dad, but I don’t know how to deal with this.”

            “He’s a frightened child,” Arianna put in. “He’s lost a parent, and he didn’t make the best decisions, but—Rapunzel, we know he’s a frightened child. We’re going to make this right.” She didn’t usually contradict Frederic directly in front of him, preferring to smooth things over from behind the scenes, but maybe if she’d pushed him earlier—well. You didn’t have to be the person responsible for something to be able to realize that maybe you’d made the wrong choice too. Frederic opened his mouth, but Arianna shook her head at him, then coughed, pressing her napkin to her mouth. She’d had this irritating cough for the past few days. Maybe a mild cold.

            “Oh, um, there’s one other thing.” Rapunzel fiddled with her hair. “Mom, Dad, have you heard of a curse that could turn a boy into a girl?”

            Arianna felt an old pain suddenly reach up into her heart and clench, though Frederic’s face reflected only puzzlement. “What do you mean, Rapunzel?” she asked gently.

            “Well, it’s just that Varian’s—well, he’s—” Rapunzel glanced sideways at her father. “Um. He seems to be having a monthly…problem. But he’s insistent that he’s a boy, and why would he lie about that? So, I thought—”

_What is wrong with you, Will? You’re a boy!_

_No, I’m not, you just don’t understand! I’ve never, ever been a boy._

_That’s not how boys and girls work._

_Don’t you dare hurt my sister._

_Sister._

_Willow._

            “If Varian says he’s a boy, you’re right, he wouldn’t lie,” Arianna managed, rather proud of avoiding the sudden quaver in her voice. “There are some girls who don’t have a cycle, so it follows that there might be some boys who do.”

            Rapunzel still looked puzzled, but she nodded. “Anyways, I thought we should get him some supplies. And if it is a curse, maybe we could try to figure that out too?”

            Arianna made a snap decision. “Do you mind if I take them to him?”

            “Are you sure, Mom? I was thinking of doing it myself.”

            “I’d like to talk to him about this, if you don’t mind. I’m sure you’ll be spending plenty of time with him.” She was cut off by another bout of coughing, and concern sprang into the eyes of husband and daughter. “Just something in my throat,” she lied, waving a hand at them.

~

            So his trousers were ruined, he needed a shower to get all the blood off, and his stomach was hurting so badly he was having a hard time not crying. Which he didn’t want to do _again_ in front of the guards or anyone else.

            Knock on the door. It was probably Rapunzel again. “Go away!” Varian called dully, then kind of wished he hadn’t. He really did need that shower, and someone who wasn’t the guards was a better shot at getting it.

            The door opened slowly to reveal—not Rapunzel, as he’d expected, but Rapunzel’s face, older, surrounded by darker hair. Queen Arianna. Varian sat up hurriedly, a sudden chill going down his spine, as he remembered holding her in one immense hand, squeezing until she screamed—even though _she_ hadn’t—he swallowed hard. _No,_ he told himself. _They deserved it_.

            “May I come in?” Arianna asked.

            “Your Majesty,” said one of the guards. “I don’t think you should be alone with him.”

            “Your objection has been noted, but you have your orders,” Arianna responded, and Varian couldn’t help but cringe a little. He would have felt better if she’d showed she was afraid of him or something. Then he realized Arianna was still standing in the door, as if she was waiting for something.

            Feeling like he couldn’t look at her, Varian stared down instead. “I guess you can come in,” he said vaguely.

            “Thank you.” He heard her shut the door beside herself. “My daughter tells me that you—” Pause. “Has no one gotten you a set of clean clothes yet?”

            “Oh, um. No.”

            “We’d better see about that right away. You’ll probably want a shower as well—I know we have a schedule for you, but you’d think the guards could have figured out that being covered in blood isn’t much of a state to leave somebody in. I’m sorry about that.”

            This wasn’t right. She was being kind. She had more right than anybody—except maybe Cass—to be angry at Varian. As much as he tried to keep repeating that all of them deserved it, that it wasn’t his fault—he could still feel her thin, fragile bones underneath the haptic sensors of his metal giant. Why had he built that in?

            “I also brought you some supplies.” Arianna held up a basket. “There are rags in here, a linen basket to tuck used ones into, some willow bark for the pain, and a little chocolate. If you’re anything like me or Rapunzel, you’ll find chocolate really helps.” Varian felt the tips of his ears going warm, and, absurdly, he wanted to cry _again_.

            “I’ll put it beside your bed, if that’s all right. And then we’ll get you cleaned up.”

            “Why are you being so nice to me?” Varian blurted, then instantly regretted it.

            Setting the basket down, Arianna looked at him seriously. “A few reasons,” she replied. “You’ve been hurt, and at least part of that was because of my family. You need help, that’s another reason—and this is really just the basic amenities anyone should have. And—” her eyes flickered to the side, her hands tightening slightly, “—and I have a sister like you.”

            Hope drained out of Varian, leaving him just cold. “You think I’m a girl.”

            “No!” Arianna’s eyes widened. “I have a sister who everyone insisted was my brother, Varian, and I saw how much that hurt her.” They stared at each other for a long moment, and then Varian covered his face with his hands.

            “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” Arianna said kindly.

~

            “I don’t under _stand_!” Rapunzel flung her arms into the air, nearly unseating Pascal from her shoulder. “His father ignored him, practically told him he was useless, and acted like he was a complete burden! And now he won’t think about anything but getting him back. He’s thrown away everything else that ever mattered to him, just to do this one thing for a man who doesn’t even seem to care about him!”

            “Um, Blondie—” Eugene put a hand on her shoulder, and she wheeled on him.

            “ _What_?”

            He had a peculiar look on his face. “Blondie, before you met me, if something had happened to Mother Gothel, what would you have done?”

            Rapunzel felt her face going slack and then crumpling in on itself. “Oh no,” she whispered. “Oh, _no_.” She sat down where she was, which turned out to be onto the floor of her bedroom. “Do you think it was like _that_ for him?” she asked, unhappily.

            “I don’t know,” Eugene replied honestly. “But it sure seems like something was very wrong between the two of them.”

            She groaned, slapping her hand to her forehead. “Then he needed friends _even more than I realized_. How did I let everything get this bad?” She drew her knees into her chest. “I don’t want him to be hurting like this!”

            “Oh, Blondie. This is not all on you. You can try to fix something without taking sole responsibility for it.”

            “I _need_ to find out how to fix it.”

            “If anyone can help him, it’s you.” He took her hand and brought it gently to his mouth. “I believe in you, Rapunzel.”

~

            Varian had to admit that the shower felt amazing. The blood flaked off and was swept down the drain. Rudiger chittered happily as he washed his face off to the side. And then, the next moment, Varian was leaning against the side of the stall again. How could he feel okay about anything when his _dad_ was still encased in crystal? He shouldn’t be pausing. He should be looking for a way out, so he could at least get back and keep doing experiments. If he paused, then maybe his father had been right. Maybe he was a useless child. _No_ , he thought urgently. _No, that’s not_ —

            “Varian, are you all right in there?” Right. Arianna was waiting in the bathroom, for some reason that Varian still wasn’t quite sure he understood. He knew he should have felt like she was intruding, but it wasn’t exactly like that. He wasn’t sure what he did feel, and he was very carefully trying not to think about that. He was so tired. “How long has it been since I’ve had somebody around other than you?” he asked Rudiger quietly. “It’s been weeks.” Weeks working alone in his lab and failing at everything he tried, because only Rapunzel could do anything. Except. Except he’d tried that, too. Was there really just no way to undo this? Was this his final mistake, the mistake that proved his father had been right about him all along?

            “Varian?” Oh, right.

            “I’m okay.” It seemed so weirdly normal, almost. Or maybe not. Varian wouldn’t really know, considering he didn’t remember his mother. What would she have thought of all this?

            Outside, Arianna was coughing, a wet, almost painful noise. Varian paused. “Um, Your Majesty? Are _you_ all right?”

            No response. Varian turned the shower off. “Can you hand me a towel?” he called. Nothing. That—that couldn’t be good. She was still coughing. Was she choking on something? Oh, god. What would they do to him if something happened to the queen while he was in the room?

            Varian flung open the shower. Queen Arianna was slumped on the floor, with a hand to her mouth. “Oh, no.” Varian grabbed for a towel. “Oh, no, oh, no, oh, _no_. Please be okay, please be okay.”

            He ran for the door and pounded on it. “Hey! Hey, I need help in here! The queen’s—”

            The door opened, both guards looking in. “What did you do?”

            “I didn’t do anything!” Varian protested desperately. “She started coughing—I think she’s sick—but I didn’t—”

            “What’s going on here?”

            It was the king. Varian felt pain pounding into the side of his head. It didn’t matter what he’d done or what he hadn’t done. He was going to be in the dungeon. He was going to be _naked_ in the dungeon. It wasn’t fair. There was no way this was his fault. Was there?

            “I didn’t,” he said helplessly. He couldn’t even say, _I wouldn’t_ , because he’d threatened her not even two days ago. But he hadn’t. He pressed his hands into his eyes. There were hands on his shoulders. The guards. Rudiger was making a noise, a high-pitched squeaking. Tears squeezed out of Varian’s eyes. It wasn’t fair. The Queen shouldn’t have been kind to him after what he’d done, but she had been, and now that was his fault, too. He stared at the ground, pulling the towel tighter around him, even though he knew it made him look more feminine than ever. How had it all gotten to this point? How had everything gone so wrong?

            “Take him away,” the king said, soft and deadly now.

            “I didn’t do anything!” Varian protested again. “I was just taking a shower! I found her like that, I _swear_!”

            Why was he bothering? No one was going to believe him. Why would they? When did anyone ever listen to what he had to say? When had anyone ever—even Dad—

            “What are you _doing_?” Rapunzel shouldered her way between the guards and physically stood in front of Varian, her hands on her hips. Something inside Varian seemed to snap and rearrange. The only image of Rapunzel he’d had in his head for weeks was the image of her lone form standing motionless as the guards dragged him away. Now all he could think of was the way she’d not even questioned it when he’d asked her to commit treason. She’d just done it, because he’d asked her to, and she’d saved his life a couple times into the bargain, going through the labyrinth.

            “Your mother has been taken ill—”

            Arianna wasn’t there anymore, it was just Varian’s word that he hadn’t done anything, and surely, surely, Rapunzel wouldn’t take him at his word anymore.

            “Varian said he didn’t have anything to do with it. She was coughing this morning! I was worried, but she said it wasn’t a big deal.”

            “He’s already threatened your mother’s life once. It’s time to stop treating him like anything more than a prisoner.”

            “If you do, Dad, I’ll—I’ll—”

            “You’ll what, Rapunzel?”

            “If you do, Your Majesty, I’m pretty sure there are a lot of people who will be extremely interested in your lack of concern for their wellbeing over the past months.” Cassandra— _Cass—_ sounding almost threatening. Rapunzel shot her a surprised but grateful look; she shrugged. “He’s my friend, too, sir, I’m sorry.”

            He’d tried to _kill Cass._ Varian put his hand over his mouth. “Oh no,” he said. “Oh no, _oh no_.” There were tears. There were a lot of tears, and there was also a lot of snot. “I swear I don’t know what happened to her, but I’ll do whatever you want me to to figure it out. I won’t let her stay sick. If. If she’s sick or poisoned or—I swear I’ll make her better.” _Can I, though_? _I have to, but Dad—I’ve never done anything right. Ever_.

            “I’m going to take Mom to her bedroom,” Rapunzel said firmly. “Dad, you can come if you want. Cass, can you get Varian some clothes and bring him to join us?”

            Cass’s hand on his shoulder, replacing the hands of the guards on his arms. “Absolutely, Raps.”

~

            “Where has she been over the past few days?”

            “Mostly just in the castle. Your lab.”

            “Anywhere else?” Varian stared down at his notes.

            _\- Wet cough_

_\- Unconsciousness_

_\- Difficulty breathing_

_\- No sign of fever_

            “I—I don’t know. I don’t think so.” Rapunzel leaned worriedly over him. “Wait, she went down to the catacombs to oversee some excavations—do you think it could have been something down there?”

            He chewed on the end of his pencil. “Did she seem okay when she came back?”

            “Yes. She had a bit of a headache from the light, but she’d been in the dark for a few hours, so nobody thought that was odd.”

__-_  Light sensitivity_

            Leaning back, Varian slid down the chair. Underground…wet cough…difficulty breathing but no fever…light sensitivity…there was a thought niggling at the base of his skull, but he was having a hard time chasing it down. Working underground, the villagers telling him dark stories about evil spirits, which just made him want to investigate more. A weird smell, and then three days of coughing and hallucinations, until he finally figured out what was going on…

            “I think I know what happened. I think I got it!” He turned to Rapunzel with a grin. “I’ll need my old lab notebook, just to check on the proportions for the antidote, but there’s this gas that hangs out underground, right? It causes hallucinations and it’s not a great thing to breathe in, it actually leads to all kinds of interesting myths about evil spirits—but it turns out there’s a pretty simple antidote. See, you just need a couple different roots because they, um, I worked out the theory at one point, but basically they displace the gas?”

            He was grinning. He was excited. Because he thought he’d fixed it—he thought he’d done just this one thing right. Just like he had the night he’d come to the castle to get Rapunzel’s help for his father. What if he failed now? The world teetered underneath him, and the smile was swept away in the flood of overwhelming trembling emotions.

            “Varian?” Rapunzel said uncertainly. “We’ll send somebody to get your notebook right away. Cass can be there and back in a few hours.”

            He wanted to hide under the table. It was all going to go wrong, any minute now. Because everything— _everything_ he did—“I don’t know,” he choked out. “What if I’m—wrong?”

            “It won’t hurt her if you’re wrong, will it?”

            “I—I don’t—” His experience said no, but he’d been wrong so many times before. He caught himself running a hand through his hair. “I don’t think so?” he hazarded. “But if I’m wrong—it’s your _mom_ —” and he’d already hurt her once.

            Rapunzel laid a gentle hand over his. “Varian,” she said. “We all make mistakes, but I trust you. I asked for your help. You’re not going to let me down.”

            She trusted him. Even after everything, she still trusted him. And she still treated him like a boy, and—Varian lifted his head, his chin firming up. “Okay,” he said, taking a deep breath. “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s make your mom feel better!”

~

            Rapunzel stood almost without breathing as Varian bent over her mother. Dad was in the room as well, standing ramrod straight in one corner. Cass and Eugene were keeping an eye on him. Stan and Pete were keeping an awkward eye on Varian, who for all intents and purposes wasn’t aware of anything in the world existing other than Mom or the little alchemical vial of dark liquid he held. “Okay, you’re gonna be fine, Your Majesty,” Varian said. He uncorked the top of the liquid; Rapunzel could just see a fine white vaporing shimmering over the top of it. “Just breathe in.” He held the vial beneath her nose, and Rapunzel couldn’t keep from biting her lip. Her mother’s cheeks were pale and already a little sunken.

            As Varian waved the vial under her nose, she made a sleepy mumbling noise and tried to turn her face away, but he followed her with his hand. “I know it smells bad, but you need to take in a few deep breaths, okay?” Rapunzel tried not to make any noise, and an objection from her father was stopped by a quick look from Varian. “Come on, Your Majesty.” Mom’s nose wrinkled, but she heard the sound of a breath in and out that sounded easier than it had for the past few hours, and her eyelids fluttered. “Yeah, good, just a couple more, okay?”

            There was another breath, and a sneeze. Varian jerked his hand back and corked the bottle immediately. “Your Majesty?” he tried hesitantly.

            “What is that awful stench?” Mom asked, voice a little weak but words coherent.

            “Oh, uh, you should maybe be taking one more sniff,” Varian said. “Actually. Um. Just to be safe.”

            “She’s awake,” Dad said from the corner. “Isn’t that enough? Thank you, but—”

            Rapunzel started to step forward, but, before she could say anything, Varian rounded on him. “Do you want her getting sick again?” he demanded. “I have to make sure it’s all out of her lungs. This stuff stinks but it won’t hurt her. The stuff inside her definitely _will_. I know what I’m doing.”

            “We’ve heard that before—”

            “ _Frederic_!” Mom snapped, but Varian held up a hand.

            “I’m not taking any chances with the queen’s health, Your Majesty, even if you _do_ have me thrown in the dungeon afterwards.” He uncorked the bottle and passed it to Mom. Dad blinked but went quiet, and Rapunzel moved to stand beside Varian. “A couple more breaths, Your Majesty, if you wouldn’t mind,” he said, almost calmly. Mom nodded, although her face pinched up, and she took another two long breaths. “Okay, that should be good. If the cough comes back, I better examine you again.” He corked the bottle and started to tuck it away, then frowned and ran a hand through his hair. “I guess somebody better take this. Don’t keep it in direct sunlight or really hot temperatures. I’ll go back to my cell now.”

            Rapunzel glanced towards her father. “Don’t be silly,” she said.

            “No, um, really,” Varian said, softly. “I don’t want you to think I just did this so you’d stop having me locked up.” He seemed to fold a little in on himself.

            “That’s very mature of you,” her mom cut in before her father could say anything. “And I think we can work out some kind of community service while we make sure to keep you updated on how we’re doing at getting your father back.”

            Varian’s head came up a little. “I’d—I’d like that, Your Majesty. I would really like to get some sleep now, though, if that’s okay.”

            “Of course,” Mom said gently. “And, Varian?”

            “Yeah?”

            “Thank you very much.”

            “Oh—” he put a hand up to his head, turning to the side and blushing a little. “You’re welcome.”

~

            Being thanked meant a lot, Varian discovered. So did the willow bark and the chocolate. Between them, the stomachache had mostly gone away, and he was able to fall asleep with Rudiger cuddled between his arms. When he woke up, watery sunlight was filtering into his room, and the raccoon was making soft hungry noises.

            Yawning, he stumbled to his feet and smoothed out his clothes, then went over and knocked on the door, expecting one of the guards to answer. “Hey, um, Rudiger’s hungry, can I get something for him to eat?”

            There was the click of a key in the lock, and Rapunzel opened it. Cassandra, who was standing behind her, gave him an awkward little wave. “Varian, you’re awake! Would you like to come eat breakfast with Cass and Mom and me?”

            He blinked at her. “Um, uh, but…”

            “And of course we’ll get something for Rudiger as well. Don’t worry, Dad can’t complain if Cass is there. After all, she’s a member of the guard.”

            The blinking got a little faster, as he tried to clear out the tears that were starting to well up. “Rapunzel—”

            She flung her arms around him, and this time he let her, leaning into her shoulder, with a sob choking its way out of his throat. She was talking rapidly into his ear. “Oh, Varian. After the emergency was over, I just—I didn’t do anything. And I should have. I should have checked on you and seen what you needed as soon as I possibly could. I thought—I don’t know. I thought it would work out. That my father had things in hand? No, I just—I just didn’t _want_ to think about it. I was so wrapped up in my own pain that I left you alone when you needed friends the most. I’m so sorry, Varian.”

            “Yeah, well.” Varian squeezed his eyes shut. “I kind of tried to kill your mom. And Cass. Just so it—it wouldn’t be my fault, for once.”

            “Varian.” She withdrew from the hug to put her hands on his shoulders and look him in the eye. “Everything isn’t your fault. You’ve made mistakes, yes. But other people have failed _you_ as well. And you do a lot of amazing, wonderful things. What about your invention at the fair?”

            “You mean the one that lost to the…thingy?”

            “Unfairly. And what about the machine that did all that analysis on my hair?”

            “And then I tried to—”

            “ _Varian_. Don’t.” She squeezed his hand. “Please. I can’t stand to watch people beating up on my friends. Including my friends.”

            “I beat up on people who beat up on my friends,” Cass put in, and Varian glanced at her, feeling his lip start to tremble again. “So you probably shouldn’t, because then I’d have to beat up on myself for having to beat up on you.”

            Surprised, he coughed out a laugh. “I’d like to get breakfast with you. Is the queen feeling okay?”

            “So much better,” Rapunzel replied quietly. “She’s not coughing at all anymore. Thank you so much.”

            “What about you?” Cass asked, scratching the back of her head awkwardly. “Any, um, cramps?”

            Varian hunched his shoulders inward. “A few? I’ll be okay, though.”

            “I didn’t know there was any man strong to handle cramps,” Cass told him. “I bet Eugene would be on the floor crying.”

            Varian felt the tips of his ears going hot. “Um, thanks, C-Cass,” he mumbled, staring at his feet.

            “Come on.” Rapunzel grabbed his right hand, and, after a momentary glance, Cass took a deep breath and took his left. “Let’s go get breakfast. Everything’s going to be okay!”

            As Rudiger clambered up his legs and then onto his shoulder, Varian squeezed both of the hands tightly. Because for the first time in months, he honestly thought she might be right.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please consider checking out my original work at mertiya-writes.com


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